A Short History of My Hair (and Eyebrows)

1978-79: Sported the classic "bowl" haircut, a style that my mother loved and is still convinced that I would look just darling in despite being 31 years old.

1980: Convinced my mother to let me grow out the bowl but for some odd reason developed a fixation with having my hair in a pony tail. Have vivid memory of almost reaching school, only to realize that my mother had forgotten to put my hair in one. Had to turn around and run sobbing all the way back home to remedy the tragic situation.

1981-1983: Succeeded in growing hair out into a thatch of perpetually disordered and static-ky tresses that made me look as though I was standing in a room full of balloons at all times. In addition, there is no evidence to show that I could see anything at all during those years due to the fact that my bangs were constantly hanging over my eyes.

1986: Quickly gave into the rage that was then sweeping the nation- the perm. Naturally it looked frightful.

1987: A horrible dark year involving the painful growing out of said perm. Spent most of the time with the top half of my hair bone straight and the bottom half a mass of dispirited, tangled waves and split-ends. I did not have any boyfriends but I did have a pair of Guess jeans which almost made up for it.

1988: After seeing the movie Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (57 times), I suffered grand hair delusion #1 in my life and began believing that despite the disaster of the last perm, if I were to get another one, this time I would look exactly like Sarah Jessica Parker in the final dance scene. I don't need to tell you how it turned out.

1990: Having finally outgrown Perm #2, I still stubbornly persisted in looking stupid due to the belief that whatever else might be going on with my hair, it must be accompanied at all times by tightly rolled and hair sprayed bangs.

1992: Had begun to see myself as somewhat of an artiste and therefore had stopped washing or combing my hair on any kind of regular basis. At one point it was compared to that of Meg Ryan's in her portrayal of Jim Morrison's girlfriend in the movie "The Doors". I took it as a compliment.

1993: After my first acid trip I woke up the next morning and went and dyed my hair purple. Actually it wasn't really purple at all but rather a dark auburn/maroonish color but I figured that the important thing was the intention.

1994: Went all Bo Derek for approximately 4 days. When I had almost ripped my scalp off with a fork from scratching, I realized that perhaps that look wasn't for me. All for the best since I looked seriously ridiculous.

1995: Went through an eyebrow waxing phase. Got them shaped into an arched thin line which gave me the air of looking perpetually surprised.

1996: Suffered from grand hair illusion #2 when I thought that if I were to get my hair cut chin length with bangs, I would look just like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. Unfortunately I looked more like a cross between Peppermint Patty and Ramona Quimby.

1998: Allowed my brother (who was just starting out in make-up) to dye my eyebrows to match my hair (which was then red). He left it on too long and I wound up with bleached blond brows. Nobody said anything at first and I began to think that perhaps it wasn't that noticeable. That is, until I went to work and a six year old Puerto Rican kid named Ramon took one look at me and said, "Hey! Ain't your eyebrows supposed to be BLACK?" As time went by, the eyebrows slowly grew back and for a while that had a sort of salt and pepper look about them (as the new darker hairs grew in to join the bleached ones).

1998-2003: A series of years in which I dyed my hair so many times that I forgot what color is was in the first place. For the last few years of this period I kept it at a sort of honey dark blond. When I eventually did stop dying it and grew my hair out, it was only to realize that for at least 2 years I'd been dying it the exact same color that it already was anyway.

2005: I had a baby and suffered from the classic new-mom syndrome in which I realized that something different must happen with my hair IMMEDIATELY. Forgetting the last experience with bangs, I decided that this time it would be ever so cute and funky. It wasn't and once again, I was destined to spend the next several month growing them out which doomed me to have a perpetual bobby pin stuck in the middle of the top of my head in order to keep them out of my eyes.

2006: Again felt that something different must happen with my hair IMMEDIATELY. This time I dyed it red. For some reason I seemed to get the top half of my hair more than the bottom. I need to do it again to make it more even but I've been too lazy. My eyebrows look fabulous though.

I guess that's about it.

Comments

[undescribed]

Hello, for me, it's tough to die your hair...I'm only 13.
A month ago I died my hair Black, my original hair color is strawberry blonde, then a few weeks ago i died my hair redish and blondish, very light with some orange, then a few weeks ago i bleached it to a lighter blondish whitish color and then a 1 percent green with dirty blonde, n now i hair very short hair...i wanna die...ppl make fun of me...eveerytime i change my hair..i will kill sum 1 n tell em not 2 fuckin mess with me agian!

[kimblahg]

hahahahaha i think we've been through the exact same horrible hair styles. ever try a spiral perm back in the late eighties?awful.

[rae]

ok, i wanna see pics from these all these 'phases.' pretty please?! red is great on you!

[Jenn]

The reason it is lighter on top is because of "hot-rooting." My hairstylist explained this to me... Basically, because the dye close to your scalp is warmed by the heat of your head, it reacts more powerfully with your hair. The only way I know of to even it out is to first put dye on the lengths of your hair, wait 10 minutes, then add dye to the roots. Way too much trouble... I'll live with being two-toned I guess. Not as noticable on dark hair.

[Sarah]

Wowzers - you look HOT. Red is the best. And the eyebrows are great. Must call the hair salon...

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[Ile]

Hey, thank you for visiting my friend's site and mine as well, so :) I only am sorry you probably won't understand anything we write.
This piece made me wonder of all haircuts I've had since I was a child.. I realised I've had long hair only for less than a fifth of my life (I'm 23), but it just doesn't suit me. I've been wearing a bowl for years, in my childhood, and my mom would probably agree with yours :)

Red hair and blue eyes match perfectly, you look just great! My eyes are blue as well, but my hair.. is purple :)

[Jen]

The red is excellent, and your eyebrows look great too. I love that you tried to persuade yourself that bleached blonde brows might not be too noticeable.

[Teacher A]

(Delurking) I also did the impulse purple hair. Mine, however, not only turned my hair a deep purple, but also dyed my body and the shower purple. I looked like a grape for a few days (luckily it was the weekend).

[dianeinjapan]

Truly, frightfully funny. And I say frightfully because that whole bowl haircut thing plus the evil perms thing hit just a little, teensy bit too close to home. The angst we suffered...

[Catherine]

It looks great, Anna! I used to dye my hair with natural henna throughout my highschool years. (Mind you, I smelled like henna-spirit, rather than teen-spirit for about a week.) Eight years later, I no longer do so. I am getting the itch to dye my hair, sans henna though... Hey! I have that exact same top, but in black! Ruffled shoulder caps included =)

[Brittanie]

I did the same thing where I was daying my hair for years the exact same color it actually is naturally. Then, I moved to Korea and my hair fell out, and since then, I've stopped coloring and blow-drying it. It's never looked better.

And you, you do look fabulous. The red is very hot.