New Year's Eve (finally!)

For New Year's Eve my brother invited me to come to Las Vegas with him where he was doing the makeup for a certain celebrity who I shall refer to as P.A. After finishing with P's makeup, he did mine. If my before and after photos are anything to go by, I think we can all assume that the majority of stars do not wake up looking like they do in the magazines. Here I am wearing enough makeup to camouflage a troop of leprechauns marching through the Sahara. I even had makeup on my knees (although P had it on her ass which made me feel better because then I could go around all night saying to myself "Well at least I'm not wearing makeup on my behind, hmpff..")

 

I arrived P's hotel suite around 6pm to find my brother standing in a bathroom surrounded by piles of blond hair extensions which wafted around the floor like so many tufts of sage brush. As I waded around them to get to the vanity table, scores of minions flitted about in a concentrated effort to get P ready for the big party. P herself wandered into the bathroom periodically to assess her hair "looks too much like Jenny McCarthy," her body "all pale and totally pasty" (Helloooooo! Scottish descended WHITE WHITE WHITE person sitting next to you with makeup on her knees so as not to blind anyone", and her makeup "I don't want it too draggy ok? But totally outlandish and glam if you know what I mean? But not tooooo crazy right? Ok?" 

As the hours floated by, the in-suite party became more and more animated- perhaps due to the fact that most of the participants were busy inhaling anything smaller than marbles into their perfectly contoured noses. This woman showed up and so did this man and this one. Nobody said more than a friendly hello to me except for a sweet gay porn distributer with whom I spent a happy hour discussing our mutual love of games such as Scattergory and Pictionary. Then he took some Ecstasy though and became entirely too sweaty and affectionate for my taste. He kept referring to me as "adorable" and although that's very nice, I don't think anyone wants to sit next to P.A. in front of a makeup mirror all night and then be called "adorable" 16 times. Or maybe that's just my hangup.

The party itself was held at Tao nightclub and was actually pretty icky. Too crowded to dance and too loud to talk which basically meant just sitting there and hoping that my lips weren't being washed off by all the Red Bull I was swilling in order not to pass out from exhaustion. I did perk up for an instant when it dawned on my that I was standing next to Usher and I spent several minutes dancing with him (okay okay, next to him) while forcing my brother to snap pictures for Nico's baby book.

By about 12:30 my brother and I decided that we'd had enough fabulousness for one year and that it was time to retire with our inner grannies to the hotel room. As I was leaving the club, my new pal the porn distributer enveloped me in a flurry of kisses and whispered board game chatter. I'm not sure what sort of conversational banter I expected from a fabulous celebrity studded Las Vegas nightclub party but it definitely wasn't "We so totally HAVE to play scrabble together sometime!"

Hey- no judgments please. It's rough being an international sex symbol! In case you're confused, I'm the one who looks as though she's still capable of making a ham sandwich.

Me and my bro.

Next to Usher. Why has no one ever told me before that this kissy dancing face that I always thought must look so sexy makes me look just so, um, really really dumb?

 

Comments

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[Susana]

J'ai peur que Lausanne soit très ennuyeux, après toutes tes émotions de cette soirée!

[Anna]

everyone is very nice!

[Annejelynn]

you is one hot mama!

[Kristen]

You look amazing, I hope you got the pics I sent from our visit, and that you enjoy your "pseudo singleness"...sounds wonderful!

[drh]

PA looks completely wasted in that photo!! Looks like it was a memorable New Year's Eve.

[karen]

I think you look gorgeous without the makeup!

[isa]

it looks like a really funny evening...and you look so much cuter then the stupid celebrities ;)

[kimblahg]

wow my comment went back in time and to the head of the list- it is 11:43 AM in my world but not in your world.

[kimblahg]

you looked 200% hotter than the celebrities and honestly? cuter without the makeup which is something i'm sure the celebrities can't say (not that your brother isn't a fantabulous make up artist)

[cee]

Love the shot of you and your brother! Sweet!

[Long Story Longer]

Those pics are awesome. Sounds like a great time! (And you and your brother look like twins!)

[Sar]

So, who's PA?

[christina]

So funny! Hope you're feeling better these days. As someone who lived in NYC for 10 years, I know winter there can be really depressing. And moving and travelling are both super stressful. When are you guys heading for Switzerland? That's something exciting to look forward to.

[Veronique]

Hello gorgeous! Great before/after pictures. It's still obviously you, but super glam. Is this going to be your new look? :)

[gleek]

damn girlfriend! you were SMOKIN' on new years! great story :) your brother's a cutie. i feel i've seen him before.

[Diane]

You look so much prettier than P.A.! Sounds like a fun night!

[Brittanie]

This is hilarious.

[myra]

Oh my gosh, too too funny!

[sushi]

A million times more sexy than those other crazies...How bloody exciting!

[claire]

meeeeow!!!

[PeachTree]

HAHAHA! AWESOME! :D